[Disclaimer: there are a few spoilers]
Okay, I'm going to be really frank with this one. I was really looking forward to this movie. I've been a big fan of the Alien and Predator movies since I was about 11 so you can imagine that I rabidly anticipate anything even remotely related to the former two. I have to say that after The Dark Knight Rises and The Expendables 2, this was probably my most anticipated movie of the summer.
It fucking sucked.
Before you fanboys start flaming me, you have to realize that I'm a really big fanboy myself and I wouldn't say that it fucking sucked if I didn't have my reasons. So here goes my big rant as to why Prometheus sucked.
First of all, it took a really cool and interesting concept and simultaneously made it jumbled and incoherent. I mean seriously, you have one scene of archaeologists making a really big discovery (READ: cave painting) and then the next scene, they have some multi-trillion dollar expedition funded on the basis of a fucking CAVE PAINTING?! That by itself is just, no. Just, no. Who in their right frame of mind would throw away that much money just because someone possibly found POTENTIAL evidence that we were created by aliens?!
Plausibility aside, the story was also all over the place. There was just a bunch of shit that didn't make any damn sense and then this movie, a sci fi summer blockbuster, tries too hard to be philosophical with the whole "should we keep looking for answers for our existence" debate.
That leads to my next point. The characters were all fucking morons. Excuse my language, but there's no better way to put it. You have two archaeologists, who made what in real life would have been a sweet discovery, manage to get an expedition chartered to the most remote, probably dangerous parts of space where literally no one can hear you scream. They were all really flat and single-minded in their suicidal quest for answers. What are you trying to prove? A sane person would just be happy to be alive and not really care why the hell or who the hell created them, especially when said creator aliens turn out to be a bunch of genocidal douchebags.
The other characters with the exception of two are equally moronic for following. At least the captain and that tattooed dude with the mohawk had some brains.
My rant aside, the special effects were top-notch, and some of those more revolting scenes were definitely highlights. Yes, I'm talking about that rape-happy precursor to the facehugger from the Alien movies. And the c-section. It almost ties Alien for shocking birthing scenes. Finally, Michael Fassbender proved himself as one of the foremost young actors in Hollywood with his portrayal of David, the android. He had the perfect mix of calm and emotionless, two great qualities for an artificial being designed to serve its master.
I give it 2 out of 4 stars. Interesting concept tarnished by a poor plot direction and a cast of idiot characters who all deserved to die.